Simple Life

Kehidupan seperti apa yang ingin kau jalani? kehidupan yang penuh hingar bingar? ala socialitat? fb selalu on, twitter... n smua jaringan sosial lainnya?

kehidupan di jalan kelam, darah, peluru, tinju...

kehidupan yang penuh dengan penipuan, kelicikan...

ah, just named it. Aku ga tau kehidupan macam apa aja yang ada di dunia ini. susah mendeskripsikan, malas mengetiknya ^^...

Aku, hanya ingin kehidupan yang tenang. Lurus. ga neko neko. ga macem macem. Ga bertengkar dengan saudara ato dihajar ibu lo. Aku cuma ingin damai. pekerjaan yang bagus, rumah untuk bernaung, keluarga untuk tempat pulang, hobi yang menyenangkan...

Sayangnya, kita hidup di dunia nyata.

Lupa

Lupa. aku pernah membaca, di komik tentunya, things I read the most, that forget is a gift. A gift from God, either from the devil. Dari Tuhan, karena dengan melupakan, kita bisa meninggalkan hal hal yang menyedihkan, menyakitkan, meghancurkan hati dan jiwa... sesuatu yang sepertinya tidak dikaruniakan Tuhan kepadaku karena aku ga pernah lupa pada hal hal menyakitkan yang pernah kualami, dan siapa pelakunya. Tidak pernah lupa, dan juga mendendam sperti setan.....

Anugrah dari setan. Hard to say that something comes from the devil himself called as a gift ^^. Dimana kita melupakan hal hal yang baik, kebaikan orang lain, kewajiban yang harus kita lakukan, hal hal yang penting....

Aku.... sering kali lupa. mulai dari hal hal yang kecil seperti capital pada huruf m di awal kalimat ini, letak kunci motorq yang buatq itu sangat krusial n sangat mengganggu karena bisa setengah jam aq mencarinya, dan... yah... pada dasarnya aq ini pelupa.

Itu bukan sesuatu yang bisa ditertawakan, bahkan oleh diri sendiri. Lupa, seringkali membawa bencana. Coba kau bilang pada Bu Lusi kalo lu lupa nilis bukaan Bg yang nilainya sampai puluhan juta rupiah n mengakibatkan saldo minus pada akun bank, bisa diembat deh ^^. So, itu sebabnya aku membawa kerjaan pulang. Yang karena aku juga pemalas, ga kukerjain... sama aja...

Lupa. Lupa pada hal hal kecil... lupa pada hal hal besar... lupa pada diri sendiri. Lupa pada tujuan hidup, mimpi, orang yang dicintai, tempat tinggal, sahabat....

I agree. Forget is a gift from God, either the devil...

At Semambung

New Day

Sudah lama ga nulis, sudah lama ga ngelakuin rencana yang udah kususun rapi, life is suck, indeed. Kerjaan ga pernah beres karena selalu bertumpuk kayak setan ngantri. Bosan, pengen something different...

I want to be different. I want to be me. The real one.

I really tired with this life.

Another Me, Another You, Another Us That Totally Different Person

It is hard to create someone new. Different than creating a different imaginary personality, like when I was creating Jane, Andrea Rosa Valentii and the youngest, Regza Carmina Rosa. They just pop out in my mind, and there they are, people that always against my will, telling me, yelling at me, which is the correct one which is not... Officers in my head...

But, creating someone new... like creating a character in my novel. The appearence, the personality, what they wear, what they like etc. A lot.

Now, different with before, I apply this to myself. It will be hard, harsh, scary and there will be blood, will become homeless and jobless...

Duh...

Day One of Another Series of Water Fasting

Yup. Water fasting again. It because I don't feel well recently, so stop eating will give me a break.

This will last for three days, so wish me luck.

New Episode of Life

An ending of unepic story of my life. The miserable, chaotic life. With the lost of the one that never be mine. The lost of purity of one soul....

So, A new story is written. Will it be the same with before, or will it be all new?

With the chaotic life I've seen in the future, I just wish, Please God, let it be different. I'm tired. All I want is a simple life. That's all. But why...

Water Fasting Day One

There goes another water fasting episode. Last thursday, I did 2 days water fasting that run very good until I break the fast. I eat too much... well not really, it's my usual portion... and my stomach hurt badly... ugh. That's an unforgetfull lesson...

I've decide, that today I'll do another fast. Started at 00:00 of 19 of Juli 2010. My initial weight is 73 Kgs. Reduce 2 Kgs huh? My blood pressure is 120/90. Quite normal according to my mother who is a nurse.

So... let see how long does it will last.

Bulan Sya'ban Telah Tiba

Bulan sya'ban sudah datang n gua lupa. Habis, penanggalannya kan beda dengan kalender internasional.... Yah, jadi ya dimulai besok deh puasanya. Semoga aja dapet berkah ya?

Nah, nah... sudah berapa lama ya aku ga ngeblog? Selama itu banyak hal yang terjadi. Aku mulai main travian misalnya. Jauh lebih enak dibanding farmville n ga ngabisin pulsa ^^. Piknik ke jogja yang kaco balo. Kehidupan yang berantakan.... Well, nothing new I guess....

Ya Sudah. Come what may n que sera sera aja lah. Sekarang, aku pengen lebih dekat sama Tuhan. To fix my miserable life....

So, Shall we begin????????

Damn I'm Bored

Is there anything I can do? Kill some pest, do some travel, bake some cookies or anything? ANYTHING???

I don't get it, really. Why I become this bored. Seems like I've seen everything, done everything...

Ah. The diet report. WHAT DIET???

Oh. That one.

Well, nothing particular happen. The same old rubbish. Side by side with a bottle of water while in mind there's only bar-B-que fried n crispy tofu. What a beautiful content is it, my mind?

Nothing happened. Fiuh... Just another gnawing stomach that become silent when it's feeded. Good.

The only thing I feel is bored. That boredom is killing me, really. Need to do something. perhaps, starting to write that story again. That's the real purpose why I made this blog. To share my story, to share every poems I've made. I do write poems. Many.

I guest that's it. It settled then... Like it wasn't ^^

OW, very well. A little bit of teasing myself won't hurt. Let's go to the cafeteria...

Shall We Begin?

I stop eating last night, aproximately at 10 pm. Because, as I said before, I want to do that personalize water fasting again, so, I start it today. Nope, not yesterday as I planned. So, here comes again my vital status.

Low BP. 160 cm. 75 Kgs as I weight this morning. 48 kgs as target in September, so I can wear a new smaller clothes in Idul Fitri days.

The program is, water fasting until I can stand it. An apple to break. Some vitamin to fulfill my need.

Now. My stomach is grawling. Ha ha ha. Same joke as ever.

The Explanation of Day One Post Because I'm Not Lazy Anymore

Not lazy indeed, but bored... uh... what a day...

I really want to understand my self and explain to my self that I like fasting. Why?

1. So I can save money to buy books.
2. So I don't have to buy food that will go directly to the trash can after first taste.
3. So I can envy people who have very delicious lunch right in front of me.
4. So I can drooling all the way home from work.

Hm... the reasons are getting nonsense...

Lunch time in 5 minutes. Better get ready to suffer...

And that's not an explanation at all

Day One

Today, the fast is begin again. After 2 - 3 days of misery because the undeliciousness of every kind of food took, which all being throwed to the trash can, I decide to fast again.

I hope I can hold on this time.

The vital status is the same with before.

uhh.... I'm so lazy to write, so, bye bye...

Break

I break last night and it's like hell. I ate fried rice, cap cay, fried noodle and it taste like hell. Not throw it up, but my stomach is hurt. I throw the penyetan to the trash can. Eat meat ball soup but it didn't taste good. the only thing that taste good is apple.

This morning I have breakfast with one decision in mind, I'll do water fast again. Starting monday. This night I'll clean myself, so does tomorrow.

Wish me luck this time

Hmmmm..... Good Tummy.... Good Tummy...

Ahhh.... Lunch.... I'm jealous....

While everybody having their lunch with such a merry face, me, sit here, writing this damn blog, with one bottle of pure spring water of Pandaan City...

I'm not complaining. Just jealous without meaning...

Nah, you see that I talk crab now? I'm getting bored, while I work, what about the non worker faster? just koro koro on bed. Koro...koro... rolling...rolling...

Okay. I'd better stop. I'm getting nuts in my head now... I'll turn to insane zombie if I continue... in 5 minutes...

Ciao. I'll crash my desk to get some nap... just because I'm bored... or maybe read Shelton's book...

What I Feel Sometime is Frightening

I feel calm. So calm. That's weird. Every morning when I go to work, my mind always cursing. All the way. But today... still ^^. But in mild mode.

Calm...

Fuuhhh....

My stomach has no comment.

Thanks God.

Speaking of God, I have an appointment with Him this midnight...

Day Two

Wow. Day two. I reach day two. Amazing because I only drink water, even though before sleep I drunk herbal tea, which I did again this morning. As I said before - did I? - it's not a pure water fasting. Nope, I don't like it.

So, I drink water and water yesterday. Feel hungry, of course, but the urge to eat is very little. I just raise my brow as usual when my stomach growl. Yes, there's many temptation, in the evening, my brain full of many kind of food I want to eat. But when I see them, I don't have the feel at all.

At night, my body warm. Until now. I took measure this morning and it said 36,2 C. Normal. But because my usual body temperature is always low, 34 - 35, it's warm.

Sleepy from morning till night yesterday because the lack of sleep at the night before. Sound sleep for 7 hours full.

This morning, I weight myself. 73,5 kg. I lost 1,5 kg of water weight. Good.

Today still glycogen burning from the liver... until noon... then switch to muscle's glycogen for about... 4 to 5 days. So, perhaps, I'll start burning fat at Juli 1st. Hope so.

Growling...

My tummy is growling. Wow! The sound! Water please. Water...

Day One

Indeed Jeevees. It's day one.

I'm not fasting as the moslem do as I plan. Instead, I do water fasting, I Modificate it. Water, and an apple a day. Being curious, can I do it properly?

My vital data, I'm 160 cm, it's about 5'3", 75 kg, a little low BP, and my goal is 48 - 50 kg... That's a lot.

My last meal, the dinner, was at 9 pm.

Wish me luck

Lunch is Awfull

Hate my lunch. The cat rice. The taste wasn't as good as my friend said. Looks like we have different taste bud uh?

Let's go diet.

The Preparation of Fasting

10.00 am

Yesterday, I eat like I'm gonna die the next second. Gosh, I hate my self. Macaroni Soup, fried tofu... just name it. My stomach so full that I can't sleep well last night. Not enough with that, at 2.30 am this morning, I eat the macaroni left over. Great.

Breakfast with fried tofu mix with stuff, some snack... darn. The old me is back.

For lunch later, I'll buy fried tofu with mayo and cat rice, small package of meal consist of rice, fried noodle and meat...

Good...

Now, girl, it's your last meal. Starting tomorrow, at 01.30 am, the fast will begin. Prepare to starve yourself because you only have an apple and a lot of water for sahur, and the same one for breaking the fast. Or maybe half. The apple in my drawer only 4 left. Don't have the time to go to supermarket to buy some.

11.10 am

Newest report:

Just came from the bank. Replacing the person who usually go to the bank for my company. What a HRD I am ^^. And it's true. I buy the cat rice and seasoned fried tofu... yum... can't wait the lunch time... wait... there's a computer test. Ah... darn...

The Book I Read Now

Jewel of Atlantis, by Gena Showalter. Niceeee.... I like it.The genre is similar with the stories I've made. Supernatural, out of this world. Things that in my country is very rare to publish, except in manga and anime format.

The language... The hot scene... sex and though about sex that fills every pages since almost page one ^^. Fiuh... Harlequin Nocturne really really hot ^^

But I still have half book to finish. So... read on, me!!

Uuuuggghhh....

My stomach give me signal that she's hungry. My mind say, nope, I don't feel to want to eat anything. Me? watching my belly, arching my left eyebrow and said, "Drink, honey. Drink. Stop making sound like your a monster, you damn stommy."

The apple will come soon. This evening. So be patient...

But now I wonder, what will I do with 3 packs Instant Quacker Oats, 3 packs of La Fonte Macaroni Veggie Soup, 1 instant coffe with cream, 1 pack of La Fonte Penne Rigatte no. 91 in my drawer....

I hope, They'll be alright untill September, when the Idul Fitri days is coming...

Finally

Finally, I know how to set the time. Fiuh...

Day Two? What Day Two??

Day Two

Yesterday is a ruin. Sure I'm breaking the fast in a proper way. An apple and a bottle of Pocari Sweat for the lost ion. But then my sister asked me to drive her to Ampel. An Arabian town in Surabaya, to buy kebuli rice. That's OK. No cheating. Still.

Then she said, "I want to eat clam. Let's go to Pabean Fish Market."

We're having fun there. She buys clam, fur clam, tofu clam. I buy golden escargot ^^, bird clam with it's scallop... Then we go to buy chilli sauce in another market. I buy Soto Madura, Crispy tofu, young coconut to drink.... Plenty...

And we eat all of that within 2 hours.

Great. What A diet. What A break of fast.

And this morning still the same. The golden stuff, the fried tofu in soy sauce, cassava chips....

Ok. That's it. Let's really... really... start the fasting... or the diet. Whatever.

From now on, the only thing I can eat is an apple a day to keep the doc runaway, water, water, and water, then tea. Oh, and pocari. That's all. Let's do it in 7 days. Beginning tomorrow. But today I'll do it too.

Wish me luck.

Fasting Your Seatbelt Girl!!

Day One:


Yup. Fasting my seatbelt indeed, for today, the first day of summer, - like there's a summer in Surabaya ^^, - I begin my fasting.

It's the month of Rajab. Like I care. But hey, A lot of Indonesian moslem are fasting this month. From fajr till maghrib, sunrise to sundrown ^^, eat nothing, drink nothing, then after that we will break the fast drowning in food... yummy....

Not me.

After a lot of reading, from water fasting, juice fasting and others, I prefer my fast, thank you.

So, it's the first day. Formally. Before, I was doing 4 - 5 days of fasting. Doing fine, with the fast and the stomach growling, but not the breaking the fast. The same problem, years after years.
Now, I've been thingking to change.

As I say before, there's no problem with my fast. For the break, i guess i'll take an apple and some pocari sweat. And a lot o water of course. For sahur this morning, I eat, Noodle, with a lot of preservative... ugh, bad start. For tomorrow, don't. Better have oatmeal n veggie.

BTW, what's the matter with the date??? Now is 21st of june, 11. 55 am!!!

Diet Sodara sodara... DIET!!!

Untuk ke 1001238746 kalinya, aku diet. Lagi.
Apakah bakal gagal... lagi?
Siapa tahu...

Laporan hari ke 3:
Awalnya adalah puasa. Baca baca n browsing internet, kepincut water n juice fasting. Tentunya aku ga bakal seekstrem itu... kan?
well. Intinya puasa.
Berat badan sih turun, dari 75 kg saat aku mulai, jadi 74 kg pagi ini... hmmm...

Menu:
Sahur: Sup makaroni sayuran, 1 telur rebus, buah.
Buka: Oatmeal, buah.

Sup bisa diganti sayur kukus.
Telur bisa diganti tahu, ayam, tempe.

Ayo...

In The Wood, There's Plenty of....Goooooarrrrggghhhh!!!!

Patagonia.... di manapun itu...

Benarkah?

Well, let see...

Saat aku terbangun dan mendapati diriku baru saja terbaring di atas tanah basah, dengan daun daun busuk sebagai alas, entah apa-aku-ga-mau-tau yang merambat di kakiku dan sebatang pohon raksasa baru saja kutabrak... aku berpikir... auch! that's hurt. Now, where the hell am I?

Kemudian, aku melihat ke sekitar. Deretan pohon lain setinggi Atlas sepanjang mata memandang. Batang batang gelap, daun daun gelap, ruas ruas cahaya dari sela kanopi dedaunan di atas sana...

Bau daun basah. Daun busuk. Air segar. Benar benar hutan.

Tapi panikkah aku?

Enggaaakkk....

Itu sebelum kebo raksasa bertanduk tajam melihatku dan memutuskan aku sebagai makan paginya.

Good Morning... errrr.... Where The Heck Am I?

Benar benar hari yang ribut... pagi yang ribut... padahal aku baru tidur jam 3 pagi, setengah mabuk seperti Jacky-chan habis minum segentong arak gara gara rapelan novel Julia Quinn 8 biji, dan itu pun baru selesai buku 1. 7 more to go, dan burung burung sialan itu dengan teganya menyanyikan lagu punk rock di pohon mangga...

Brengsek.

Padahal masih gelap begini... Sudah gitu udaranya lembab... Dingin... kepala pusing... tempat tidur keras ga enak...

Ck.

Sialan.

Bangun aja deh. Ga guna tidur lagi.

Yak. Julurkan kaki panjang panjang, tekuk punggung... pose kucing mulet... buka mata...

Bengong.

Mana novel novelku? bukannya tadi kutaruh dekat bantal?

errr... Bantal? lo di mana?

hnggg? kayu tempat tidurnya kog basah gini... apaa....n...

Basah... licin... err... HNG??? POHON??? WHAT THE..??

WHERE THE HELL AM I???

Things That Forgotten...

Hal hal yang paling sering kulupakan adalah diriku sendiri... damn. It's pathetic...

ketika anggaran tiba... n mbak'e masih belum balik dari kalimantan...

Aku terjaga di pagi hari, jam 05.20, gara gara gedoran di jendela ala mama...

Mata kriyep kriyep gara gara aq baru tidur jam 2 dini hari, setelah selesai baca buku harian miss Cheever, n menulis beberapa kata di novel shota ku....

ga kepikiran kalo hari ini mbak'e ga ada...

Baru kepikiran jam 08.00...

Panik ala gua...

waktu anggaran... orang'e koq diem aja ya...?

jam 10.15... dah beres? koq cepet?

damai...

ga ada muntah darah... ga ada raungan naga...

damai...

Peace on earth... ^^,

Thousand Spies at Night

The night has a thousand eyes,
And the day but one;
Yet the light of the bright world dies
With the dying sun.

The mind has a thousand eyes,
And the heart but one:
Yet the light of a whole life dies
When love is done.

-- Francis William Bourdillon


Puisi yang kubaca disaat aku masih sma, di sebuah novel terjemahan gramedia, yang kadang membuatku meleleh seperti lilin terbakar di malam saat lampu mati ^^

The Ungratefull One

Aku memang ga bersyukur. dikasih langit cerah, aku nggerundel. aku lebih suka langit yang berawan tebal, hitam kelam, petir menyambar dan angin kencang ga karuan membuat mantel hujan kelelawarku ( punyaku, aku ga punya piaraan kelelawar, cuma kucing, tikus, tokek dtmtmx) berkibar kibar bagai superman kesasar di stasiun gubeng.

hari cerah adalah saat hujan deras turun dan hati berasa sendu. (kenapa ga automatic capslock sih?)

Begitulah... (Inspirasi ilang gara gara disuruh ngurus bg tolakan n ternyata buku serah terimanya ga ada... >.< Sorry)

Audit Eksternal

To make things better. To corret the wrong. To make people get stomach ache from worry... ^^

Hari ini ada audit eksternal di kantorku. Berbeda dengan audit internal yang biasa saja, audit eksternal lebih ditakuti. Dalam suatu wawancara iseng iseng sambil belajar admin personalia dengan salah satu temanku, selama 2 - 3 kali beberapa saat, kami sempat bengong karena cemas, nanti bakal ditanyain apa ^^. Kembali menghapal sasaran dan kebijakan mutu kantor, cemas, belajar n tanya jawab lagi, makan permen karena cemas...

Duh...

Semoga hari ini auditnya berhasil. Ga ada temuan di wilayahku... Sehingga kami bisa kembali bekerja dengan damai, tanpa maag yang kambuh...

Lamington Bread... in my way

Beberapa waktu lalu, aku tertarik sama The Harvest. Cheesecakenya yang yummy, harganya yang ahoi ^^ sampe sampe aku ngecek ke net, cari cari all about harvest. Saat itu, aq tertarik sama Lamington Bread, sponge cake yang berbalut coklat n serutan kelapa kering. Tapi, waktu aku liat resepnya, aku heran. Cuma begini doang? gitu pikirku.

Trus, di jalan, hobiku dengan liqeur muncul. Gimana kalo sponge cakenya dibasahi dengan brandy+madu atau rhum+madu?

My First Blog... Finally...

Akhirnya, setelah kepengen beberapa tahun lalu... lupa beberapa tahun... inget trus lupa ~LAGI~, n again diingetin sama adikku tercinta, kini, terciptalah blogq ^^. butuh berapa lama ya? soalnya di fb pengen nggerundel tapi spacenya ga cukup sih, so jadilah...

Alasan aq bikin blog, selain buat nyalurin hobi ngedumel yang kayaknya bakal di sensor dengan lemparan rice cooker kalo di ungkapin di khalayak ramai, aku punya stok novel yang ga yakin lolos sensor publisher tapi sayang kalo dibiarin ngejamur di lemari, seperti keadaannya sekarang...

So... Marilah kita mulai...

Mulai...

Mulai....

~hopeless banget....~